Category Archives: Conflict

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The Paradox of Leadership Legacy: Why Vilifying or Deifying Former Leaders Misses the Mark

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By Dennis Gulley of the Porch Coaching and Consulting

When a leader leaves an organization—especially an executive leader in a nonprofit or Christian organization—there’s often a wave of emotional reactions. Some people may villainize the leader for what they didn’t accomplish or for mistakes made along the way. Others might go to the other extreme, putting them on a pedestal, and treating their tenure as flawless.

Here’s the thing: neither response is truly fair—or productive.

Leadership is complicated. It’s full of highs and lows, wins and misses, and decisions made in less-than-perfect circumstances. When we paint a former leader as either a saint or a scapegoat, we oversimplify their work, miss the bigger picture, and often hurt the organization in the process.

For nonprofits and faith-based organizations, this issue can feel even more personal. These leaders are often expected to embody the mission and values of the organization, and their departure can stir strong feelings—positive or negative. But the reality is, no leader is perfect, and no leader is entirely at fault for everything that didn’t go right. The truth is usually somewhere in the messy middle.

If you’re a leader still with the organization, how you respond to a former leader’s legacy matters. It shapes your organizational culture, sets the tone for how leadership is perceived, and either strengthens or fractures the mission. So how can we avoid falling into the traps of vilification or deification? Here are a few practical steps to help navigate this transition thoughtfully.

1. Embrace the Complexity of Leadership

Every leader faces challenges you might not have seen from the outside—budget constraints, staffing shortages, unforeseen crises. Similarly, every leader makes decisions that propel the organization forward, even if they don’t make the headlines. It’s important to acknowledge both sides.

Tip: Instead of a black-and-white “legacy review,” take time to assess their tenure holistically. What were their biggest wins? What challenges shaped their leadership? What lessons can the organization carry forward?

2. Show Grace and Gratitude

In nonprofit and Christian leadership especially, grace isn’t just a nice idea—it’s foundational. Leaders are human. They have strengths and weaknesses, just like the rest of us. Showing grace toward a departing leader reflects the values many of us aim to live by.

Tip: Consider hosting a farewell or recognition event for the departing leader. Use it as a chance to celebrate their contributions honestly—acknowledging the highs while being real about the challenges.

3. Focus on the Mission, Not the Person

One of the biggest mistakes organizations make is conflating a leader with the mission itself. Leaders come and go, but the mission stays. When a leader leaves, it’s an opportunity to show that the organization is bigger than any one person.

Tip: Communicate clearly during transitions. Whether it’s through an internal meeting or a public statement, emphasize how the organization is moving forward and how the departing leader contributed to the mission’s progress.

4. Build a Resilient Leadership Culture

If the organization’s success feels tied to one person, transitions will always be rocky. A healthier approach is to foster a culture where leadership is shared, celebrated, and developed across the organization.

Tip: Start investing in emerging leaders now. By equipping others to lead, you create a stronger organization that isn’t overly dependent on any one individual.

5. Model Healthy Communication

What leaders say—and don’t say—about their predecessors sets the tone for how leadership is perceived. If current leaders resort to gossip or criticism, it creates a culture of distrust. On the other hand, glowing over-praise can set impossible expectations for successors.

Tip: Commit to honest, balanced communication about former leaders. Keep your focus on the future, and avoid dwelling on the past.

6. Be Transparent

When a leader leaves under challenging circumstances, it’s easy for speculation to fill the gaps. Transparency helps prevent that. While some details might need to stay confidential, a little openness can go a long way in maintaining trust.

Tip: Share what you can—why the transition is happening, what’s next for the organization, and how the mission will continue to thrive. Transparency builds confidence.

What’s the Bigger Picture?

When we choose to either vilify or deify a former leader, we lose the opportunity to truly learn from their tenure. Every leader—good, bad, or somewhere in between—leaves lessons for those who follow. And the way we talk about their legacy impacts how the next generation of leaders will step into their roles.

For nonprofit and Christian leaders, this is especially critical. Our organizations aren’t just about achieving goals; they’re about living out values. So let’s approach leadership transitions with grace, honesty, and a commitment to the mission.

If you’ve been part of a leadership transition—either as the one leaving or the one staying—what lessons have you learned? How did your organization handle the process? Let’s start a conversation in the comments.

This more balanced and human approach to leadership transitions not only honors those who came before but also sets the stage for thriving futures. Let’s get this right.

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The 10-15% Rule: Finding the Valid Concern in Every Complaint

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As leaders, we often face criticism, complaints, or negative feedback, whether it’s from employees, colleagues, or clients. It’s natural to feel defensive or dismissive when confronted with complaints, especially if they seem exaggerated, misinformed, or based on emotion rather than fact. But what if we approached these situations with a mindset that acknowledges that 10-15% of every complaint is valid?

The concept is simple: even in the most challenging or frustrating complaints, there is often a kernel of truth. If we can identify and act on that small percentage, we not only address the root cause but also dramatically improve our leadership and relationships. By focusing on the valid 10-15%, we can make meaningful changes that please the other person, strengthen our leadership, and watch the rest of the complaint fade away.

Why the 10-15% Rule Matters

1. It Builds Trust and Empathy

When someone brings a complaint to you, they’re often looking for validation. By listening and acknowledging the valid part of their concern, you build trust and demonstrate empathy. Even if 85-90% of their complaint is emotional or exaggerated, taking the time to find the valid portion signals that you care about their perspective.

This is critical for leaders. Trust is the foundation of effective leadership, and leaders who show they are willing to listen, learn, and change based on feedback are more likely to earn the respect and loyalty of their teams.

2. It Enhances Self-Awareness

A key element of emotional intelligence is self-awareness—the ability to understand how our behavior impacts others. When we focus on the valid 10-15% of a complaint, we force ourselves to reflect on our actions or decisions objectively. This helps us identify areas where we can improve, even if the overall complaint feels unfair.

Self-aware leaders are better equipped to grow and adapt. By making small, targeted improvements based on legitimate feedback, they enhance their leadership skills and become more effective over time.

3. It Encourages Constructive Change

Often, the valid part of a complaint highlights an area where a system, process, or behavior isn’t working as well as it should. By identifying this portion and taking action, you can create constructive change that benefits everyone.

For example, if an employee complains about micromanagement, even if you feel you’re not overly controlling, there might be a valid concern about how much autonomy they have in their role. By giving them a little more responsibility, you not only address their specific concern but may also increase their job satisfaction and productivity. Addressing the valid 10-15% can lead to real improvements that extend beyond the initial complaint.

How to Apply the 10-15% Rule

1. Listen Actively Without Defensiveness

The first step in applying the 10-15% rule is to listen carefully. This means resisting the urge to interrupt, defend yourself, or dismiss the complaint. Active listening involves giving the other person your full attention, asking clarifying questions, and showing empathy for their feelings.

2. Identify the Core Issue

Once you’ve listened to the complaint, take time to separate the emotion from the facts. Ask yourself: What part of this complaint is rooted in a legitimate concern? Even if the complaint is wrapped in frustration or hyperbole, there is likely a specific issue at its core that can be addressed.

For example, an employee may complain, “You never listen to our ideas!” While the word “never” is likely an exaggeration, the valid part of their concern may be that they feel unheard during team meetings. By identifying this specific issue, you can take steps to improve communication and ensure that everyone has a voice.

3. Acknowledge and Validate the Concern

After identifying the valid 10-15%, acknowledge it. Let the other person know you hear them and that you recognize the legitimacy of their concern. This validation can go a long way in diffusing tension and making the person feel respected.

You might say something like, “I understand that you feel I haven’t been giving enough attention to your ideas in meetings. I can see how that would be frustrating, and I’ll work on ensuring everyone gets a chance to contribute.”

4. Take Action

The most important part of this process is following through. Identifying the valid portion of a complaint is only helpful if you use that insight to make a positive change. This doesn’t mean you have to overhaul everything based on one piece of feedback, but it does mean making small, meaningful adjustments.

In the previous example, this might involve creating more opportunities for team members to share their thoughts or actively soliciting input from quieter members of the group. By making these changes, you demonstrate that you’re responsive and committed to improvement.

5. Watch the 85-90% Disappear

Once the valid concern has been addressed, something remarkable often happens: the remaining 85-90% of the complaint vanishes. When people feel heard and see action being taken, their frustrations dissipate. Often, the emotional weight of the complaint was tied to feeling ignored or powerless. By addressing the root cause, you remove the fuel behind the rest of the complaint.

The Impact on Leadership

Leaders who consistently apply the 10-15% rule create a culture of openness, accountability, and growth. By seeking out the truth in every complaint and using it to drive positive change, they not only resolve issues but also foster an environment where feedback is valued, and continuous improvement is the norm.

The next time you face a complaint, instead of dismissing it or getting defensive, take a moment to reflect on what part of it might be valid. By finding and addressing that 10-15%, you’ll strengthen your leadership, improve relationships, and create lasting, positive change.